JSL vs. Juniors in the YKBA season opener tonight. I wrote down a few predictions before the game and monitored their progress throughout. 

The Predictions

1) Ronnie will hit a 40-footer. It’s a fact that Ronnie hits one every couple games and in a big game like the YKBA opener, you know he’ll be gunning.

2) Doug will get, like, 8 garbage buckets. I never said these were going to be good predictions.

3) Jacob Sullivan will get a surprising amount of blocks. Aka 1. Jacob will also get a surprising amount of missed phone calls from Emma Tilden.

(Movie Pitch: He Got Game 2… this has nothing to do with basketball.)

4) Every time Tyler Wells hits a shot he will not so secretly glance to his bench to see if Shaun saw it. It’s not a bad thing I’m just saying…

5) Alimar will spend 4 and a half minutes in the air when you add up all his hang time.

6) Aaron and Nathan will explode out of the gates to a strong start. But after about two minutes they will realize that without a coach hounding them, it’s time to pump the brakes and drive slow homie. I think they will like that aspect of Men’s league… I also think they will go for ice cream together after the game...

7) Chad Hinchey will laugh 25 times because of ref Damien.

8) Lastly, the combination of the Callas brothers insane chemistry, pump up song in the Yaris on the way over (Momma Said Knock You Out - LL Cool J), and tattoo’s will lead JSL to a 1-0 record. Even though between them they only have 1 and a half good knees. Cable television has raised those boys too well...

The follow up

At this point I would like to reiterate that all predictions were put in writing before tip-off.

1)      Ronnie didn’t hit his 40 footer. Bad call on my part. He did however play 110 percent. He unleashed a couple good yells and got a few lay-ups starting at half. It was a solid game for the GM but he didn’t hit that shot so.... FAILURE

2)      Not only did Doug get 8 garbage baskets, but he also got 4 legit hoops. Props. CORRECT

3)      I know I saw Jacob get one msn messenger block contact and I’m sure he got a few tips. So that was at least one good call, but what I didn’t expect was his improved 3 ball. I think he had 3 that game. And as far as Emma goes, I had an inside spy (Raymond) tell me he had 5 missed calls and 4 missed text messages...  CORRECT

4)      CORRECT!!! Too easy…

5)      Alimar rose up and did what he does. He is a solid captain, solid basketball player, and has Heineken hops. I was too busy laughing that young Plot is on JSL to officially keep track of his hang time but to make sure I don’t completely botch this I’m going to say.... CORRECT

6)      Neither Nathan or Aaron really exploded in this game. Aaron’s offseason was focused too much on trying to throw a football the length of Matonabbee Street and not enough on hoops. And those 15 pushups a week really seemed to throw off his shot, overall he looked a little rusty out there. As for Nathan, his summer was spent too much in Ukraine perfecting his So You Think You Can Dance routine. Basketball clearly isn’t a priority and with moves like his, can you blame him?  FAILURE

7)      Chad was a grump. He was frustrated the whole game. No laughing. Not even that Effron smile of his. What a disappointment... FAILURE

8)      I’m not sure who I should give JSL’s victory credit to but if I really have to choose I’m going to say the Callas brothers. Brendan didn’t let anything get out of control. He helped JSL get the early lead in the first by taking advantage of his physical, non-human strength. He ran the court and pushed that double-braced knee to the limit. JSL got that early lead and kind of just kept it. Brendan would always speak at the huddles and on the court, he got probably 6 blocks and is the main reason JSL now already has a quarter of the wins they did last year. I’m now changing the credit to just Brendan.   ½ CORRECT                  

It was a solid season opener. I got like half of my assumptions right which is not impressive at all. But I called a few things and I didn’t even really know everyone yet, on either team, so cut me some slack. Also, the one thing I could have never called was how high-quality those two new strangers on the Juniors were. I really wish I had names or numbers to warn Black Knight. But they know who they are. Maybe my editor will know and squeeze them in but the one tall white kid, I believe he was number 11. Solid. And the other pretty ripped kid who is also kinda tall..... Jesse? Maybe? I really don’t know but watch out.

This is a re-building year for the Juniors but they’ll still be a tough team to play. All those kids seem to respect Shawn a lot and I have only heard positive things about the guy. They won’t want to let him down. He will make sure they are a team that can compete in the YKBA. But they have the same downfall as almost every Juniors team since the Fletch-Digga days. They’re small, which means they are going to try and make up for it with speed and tough defense. Hopefully we play them in those Sunday night games at William Mac; somewhat smaller gym.

I think JSL had a good offseason and picked up some good guys, they should probably see how much salary cap space they got and look at signing a free agent Point Guard. Maybe we can lure White Chocolate aka WHIT EBOY aka Jason Williams to come out of retirement and come North for some competitive ball… Or my actual suggestion is, just do whatever it takes to get Dez. I don’t know how this JSL squad is going to do against the other teams in the league but I’m sure it will be better then last year, and without the Ring Kings it looks like the YKBA is going to be better-rounded. Looking forward to another good season.