Webmasters note: In attempts to pretend he cares about his league the Commish spends 24 hours with players, GM’s fans in attempts to get to know them. Note Steve is my captain and article has been edited accordingly.

Journal Entries

Oct 18 10am:

Commish: Welcome to the 2005/06 season reporting live from Essentials Hair Salon? That’s right loyal readers, the Commish has rolled his act to the streets and is reporting from the man-salon by day, three-point threat by night Mr Steve Payne.

Note the commish would like to thank Steve for canceling his Brazilian wax on Dr Rug and meeting with the commish.

After reading the latest hair styles and realizing none can apply to the commish, the commish looks over PMED’s lackluster 2004/05 season. The commish notes that the team featured Phillipino sensation Ren, Shawn White, Steve the only male hairdresser in the L, Dustin Phillipousis and Sara the shooter. Also this team featured the Bowling league treasurer Dave Colbourne less on that later.

10:15 Steve interrupts the beginning of the interview to deal with his roommate who has lost his wedding ring in the toilet. Silly Tyler.

10:17: Steve begins by explainingg his teams name PMED stands for Pizza Hut,McKay,Essentials,Diavik. Apparently Mr. Colbourne embezzled teams funds the previous year and they needed to secure 4 different sponsors? Bowlers.

10:26: A shapely blond rolls in to the salon and Steve smiles and tells me that he will be conducting an interview in the back? The commish frowns.

10:27: The interview is over and Steve is irritated. Apparently she didn’t want to cut hair in his poker shack.

10:45 Steve previews the upcoming year by sending a message to the L. We have recruited the biggest and strongest bodies in Yellowknife. Gone are the days where BA the DA could rebound on us, gone are the days where Josh could try his baseline spin dribble with out repercussions. PMED will not allow any ball cuts for the entire season. We plan on making teams afraid to play us. The commish quietly reminds Steve of the high viewership numbers in the 10-15 demographic and lets him know the YBA product must be suitable for all ages. Steve responds by grabbing the blue solution that cleans combs and drinks the entire bottle.

10:55: Steve pukes up entire blue solution and forces mop boy Chris Aitken to clean-up.

11:00 The commish asks Steve what he would like to see in order to improve league play. Steve outlines his final solution which shows the immigration of players born in NFLD given financial assistance to play and be waived of all legal responsibility. The report sites Mr. Soloy and BA the DA as contributors. The commish makes a mental note to call the Aitkens for legal advice.

2:00pm: The commish asks Steve what he thinks about other teams chances for the upcoming year. Steve lets the league know that PMED will win and he doesn’t really care about the rest. He claims that the juniors may make a run but lack the size to play with the big dogs, Ryfan will be bruised and bloodied before the end of the season, BP’s isn’t a threat without the Taylor’s, Northwestel will experience growing pains. The team that troubled Steve the most was eternal bridesmade Jose Loco’s. He was impressed at GM Campbell’s draft picks claiming the steal of the draft. He also said this team presents the most problems with opposing teams point guards, “any team that has a player who can foul your PG 4 times before he crosses half isn’t fun to play against.” The commish quietly agrees; with the reference to Joel.

3:24pm: Steve has back to back appointments, Josh comes in seeking info on Rogaine and Karyne Daniels tells him to double the dye and triple the highlites.

4:00pm: Steve leaves early from the office to go to the gym for his pre-game Pilates session with instructor Simpson. Not sure if he is working on his flexibility or his smooth calling.

5:00pm: Pre-game combat nap.

6:15pm: 1500 crunches and 1000 pushup and 10 burpies (warm-up for poker later that night)

7:02pm: Knocked out of his own poker game

7:23pm: Steve posts trash on website referring to himself as the Essential.