For my first article of the year I will address the year-end power rankings and Christmas wishes for each team.

Along for the ride – Northwestel. Expansion hasn’t treated this team nicely! With a 1-15 record and their one win coming by default, this team has some work to do. All-world guard Ren Bessera needs to grab the bull by the horns and get him teammates playing at his level. Would probably help if Steve was at a few more games…

Wish list: Their first legitimate win. Jerseys. Another expansion team.

Happy to be in the L – JSL. This team has potential. Led by Ronnie Red Bull Leonardis and his 15.3 ppg, JSL has fought to a 4-12 record. Surprising rookie sensation Omar has made a name for himself with smooth lefty finishes. Credit to Randy for scouting him in his annual Hedonism visit to Jamaica. If Omar can finish the season with JSL, if Ronnie can battle his red bull addiction, if Randy can get along with the refs, if Lennie can forgot about his 3 point line spin move, this team could win 8 games!

Wish list: Red Bull Sponsor, new agent for Omar, quads for Randy to replace his
chicken legs, players to pay with bills in bigger denominations then $5.

How the ^%^&* are we 9-8? Medic North Mavs – The reigning champs are off to a subpar start. Most likely due to league MVP Cory Taylor only suiting up for 6 games so far. Once captain “The Deh Cho destroyer” (Dez Antoine) realized his team was in jeopardy of dropping below .500 for the first time since Weezie was a player he placed the call that saved the season

“Wiz, we need you, Amos’ shoulder keeps coming out, Jeremy is missing games due to
his dance lessons, Colin likes to jack 15 threes every game and Jonny Pootlik is focusing on the Cager!”
“I’ll be there”
And with that response the wiz dropped everything in AA Ponoka and came home to average 20.8ppg and an impressive 38 points on league power house Surley Bob’s. Look for a turnaround from this crew in the second half.

Wish List: Deltoids for Amos, Knee replacement for Nate, Lombada lessons for Jeremy.

Lurking in the weeds waiting for playoffs – Black Knight. 3rd place with a 10-6 record is
standard for this crew. With an off-season retreat to Fort Resolution this team has bonded nicely and done a great job replacing Lee Chan. With senior on the team this year, Pietro Bertolini has stepped up and averaged a career high 9.2 ppg and in his last three games scored 19, 25, 18. From information found on trash talk it appears his wife loves it when he is the “big playa” and scores in double digits. Look for the Webmaster to improve play in the second half and increase his 3.9 ppg. Webmaster has had some nice dishes this year though.
Wish list: promise ring from Josh to Dave, return of the messiah (Dodi), 2lbs of muscle mass for Roman.

The Contender – Hot Shot Juniors. An interesting pickle this team. With a 12-5 record the kids look good this year. The came off a nice GP tourney win only to find themselves getting the beatdown from a 5 man BK roster including the other Campbell not Joel. It looks like this team can’t handle BK after finishing the first half 0-3. Head coach Cory Tyalor had the following to say” I’m sending them on a conditioning sting in Hawaii, they need to flex on the beach and wear speedos for confidence.”

The team needs to play more consistent and share the ball like they did in GP. Could this be the year the Juniors take the title, or will it be an early playoff exit yet again.

Wish list:  their first title in 5 years, gold medal at the AWG’s,not to get crowned in Hawaii, coaches with hair, girlfriend for Aaron Callas, swagger for Jacob, one three pointer for Quincy, a healthy baby for Cory.

The Finishers – Surly Bob’s. After back-back final losses this team went back to their roots and brought in a 2 tool player Darren Campbell. Bob’s management knew they could score but lacked toughness and grit. By adding DC to their roster Bob’s now has the complete package. They can score with teams via Nick Diem, if they need to run they can with Shippy running the fast lanes, if they need a rebound team centre Jay Cutten handles the glass. Jason Melanson plays on this team also.

Wish list: jodi back for the playoff run, brent back for the playoff run minus 50lbs, shearme to pay his league fees, DC hitting his free throws.

Happy holidays.

Commish